Amalgamated, as I lost the majority of old news articles in the hard drive crash, more to be added:


Massacre at the Museum

An emergency meeting was today called by the Metropolitan Police in response to the terrorist attack at the British Museum. Mixed reports on the nature of the tragedy are clouding the issue, with several amateur videos showing what appear to be large insects attacking visitors, followed shortly by a detonation which appears to leave most present entirely unaffected.

Remote virus-hit island seeks aid


Britons living in what is described as the remotest community in the world are seeking help after the outbreak of an acute virus. Many of the 271 British citizens living on the volcanic island of Tristan da Cunha, in the south Atlantic, have developed severe breathing problems. They need to ensure that their current medical supplies do not run out. An international operation to provide help is being led by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. BBC world affairs correspondent Mike Wooldridge said the islanders were being affected by what appears to be an outbreak of viral-inducted asthma, which causes severe breathing problems. Tristan da Cunha's one resident doctor, a South African, has issued an appeal for medical supplies. The South African Marine Rescue Co-ordination Centre was alerted first and informed British coastguards. The volcanic island has no airstrip, making getting medicines there difficult. However, merchant ships in the area are unlikely to have the necessary drugs on board and a coastguard spokesman said there were no British military vessels nearby at present. Viruses have swept through the island before but Michael Swales, chairman of the Tristan da Cunha association, said he could not recall medicines becoming exhausted on previous occasions. He said there was particular concern about the health of the elderly and the very young.
Isolated Tristan da Cunha is situated 2,800 km west of Cape Town, South Africa, and is part of a small group of islands. It was at one time on the main trading route between Europe and the Indian Ocean, but the small community living there is now extremely isolated. The community of 275 people describe themselves as living in the world's most isolated settlement. The island is famous for a mass evacuation to Southampton in the 1960s after a volcano erupted. The main island is about 38 sq miles (98 sq km) and the currency is the British pound.

World News

London based PR and consulting agency today announced that it was opening an overseas branch in Washington D.C. in response to increased business generated from its assistance of Governmental authorities in the wake of the London disaster.

Work began today on repopulating the city as the thawing of the snow and ice has reached tolerable levels. A memorial service for those lost to the great blizzard will be held tomorrow at noon, followed by an address from Prime Minister Gordon Brown.


Senator Gravel's team today announced his withdrawal from the presidential race after reports that the Senator was in hospital recovering from a stroke suffered in the early hours of yesterday morning.

The campaign of Iowan senator Carolyn Walters received a significant financial boost today after a donation of what is rumoured to be several million dollars from an as yet unattributed source.

Serbian forces today moved into Priština in response to recent claims of independence from the Kosovar parliament. Simultaneously, Kostunica delivered what may be a landmark address citing the foundation of a “New Balkan Alliance” designed to combat “Western Imperial Ambitions.”


Walmart today announced that it was selling its troubled New Orleans outlet after a string of unfortunate incidents. The structure has been purchased by local businessmen Luis Cusco, who has announced plans to turn it into a community centre with the aid of the Tzu Chi Buddhist foundation.


More famous for her spat with Paris Hilton, and the socialites somewhat precipitous withdrawal from society, actress Chelsea Hicks today announced her association with Coke alongside returned Scot’s actor Gael Hannis in their latest campaign for Coke Elements.

Poker champion Daniel Blake today returned to play the final leg of the postponed Piper-Heidseck poker tournament in the restored Mirage Casino in Las Vegas.


Recovered athlete Amy Chen today announced her candidacy for the Guangzhou Asian Games of 2010. Placing first in regional trials, the young athlete is poised to achieve great things.