31/8/07

City In Shock
“….still trying to substantiate reports coming in, but it appears that Las Vegas was attacked from the North and South today by two disparate forces, which collided in the airspace over Red Rock Canyon. A squadron of F-16 fighters from the 57th wing engaged with several unconfirmed targets over the area, but due to the primarily biological nature of the combatants involved were unable to achieve viable target lock, save for in two instances. On investigating the two downed…creatures for lack of the government scientists were greeted with identical blast craters approximately x metres across. Forensic samples have been taken, and analysis is expected shortly. This office continues to receive reports of alleged dragon sightings, and sightings of winged, apparently griffon-like creatures. We have been instructed by both the local authorities and CIA liaisons to inform you that all claims are being treated with the utmost seriousness. All citizens wishing to make a report on the day should proceed to the counselling and advice centres which have been set up throughout the city. The White House is expected to issue a statement within the next few days after consultation with the Nellis base, the CIA, FBI and the NCAI, who perceive recent activities to have immense spiritual significance.”

The Presidential Address
“People of the United States of America. We stand today at a threshold, a turning point in our history, a point at which our world may well be revealed as something wider, and stranger than ever before. As in 1492, as in 1865, as in 1964, as in 1969, we stand at the edge of a new vista for humanity. The events in Las Vegas, strange and terrifying as they are, are simply another aspect of our world unfolding before us. Let me assure you, each and everyone of you, that we will not explore this uncharted territory defenceless. We are prepared. We will meet this new challenge as we have met all other challenges placed before us. With fortitude, with bravery, with wisdom, and with honour. We are all deserving of a place in this world, each and everyone of us. We are all God’s children.”

Presidential Snub from New Orleans
Mayor Ray Nagin today expressed what he called an “unequivocal desire by the people of New Orleans” to refrain from entertaining the upcoming White House delegation on the second anniversary of Katrina, in protest at the handling of the disaster by the Bush administration. The Mayor has announced that it is time that the citizens of New Orleans looked again to the Constitution, and to the great heritage of America in their continuing struggle to forge a new future for themselves.

Suicide Cults

We have breaking news of apparent Red Death suicide cult strikes in Boston, London, San Francisco, Houston, Chicago, Brisbane, Helsinki, Hong Kong, Dubai. Cut to shaky footage of a cameraman giving a piece to camera as chaos breaks loose behind him, the man is pulled to the ground amind screams and sprays of blood and eaten, the camera falls and goes to static. London, at the tube entrance, there is drumming in the subway, someone staggers up covered in blood claiming that he is "clean, not one of them", a pair of paramedics rush to tend him against the shouted orders from the police, the trio are shot by police marksmen, the camera feed cuts out.

Unexplored Vistas

Marine biologists expressed their delight today at the discovery of a new oceanic trench located using cutting edge echo refraction techniques developed by scientists working on the MIT Sea Grant program. The trench appears to be exceedingly deep at perhaps 12-15km (8-10miles) and presents an exciting new scientific opportunity. The US funded bathyscape Cetea is due to commence exploration of the as yet unnamed trench within the month.